I'm fairly certain I must work in one of the most dysfunctional offices in America.
I'm sure everyone must feel this way from time to time, or even agree with it on most days. Seriously though, I wonder how these people manage to find their way to work each day, when at least twice a day for the last 5 years they've not been able to figure out how to operate the exact same fax machine that's always been here. But they can and do get behind the wheel each and every day. Scary, isn't it?
The Owner: Flakey as the day is long. Micromanager. It isn't a good idea unless it's his idea. Which is pretty common as far as bosses go. However, he mimics whatever you've just said, and having verbalized it as well, it then becomes his idea & he becomes very pleased with himself and his intelligence to think up said idea. Usually micromanaging follows, hand in hand with his wanting one of us peons to make a report of some sort using his newfound idea. This lasts for a month or so, max, as it's eased off into Purgatory, never to be seen again & totally forgotten in the wake of his latest brainfart. Treats ideas and new employees the same way a child treats a new toy. Until he's tired of either one, then moves on to the next or finds something else to amaze and astound him. Like the internet (and it continually does).
The Bookkeeper: A very large man who had gastric bypass (stomach stapling) several months ago. He has a dry sense of humor & a sarcastic wit. Has bouts of depression, usually coinciding with his sometime alcoholic binges. Also has an occassional taste for prescription medications. Prone to fits, rants, and frequent frothing at the mouth over Owner's frivolous spending of money that should not have been spent in the first place. Because frankly, making payroll is just a hair more important than ordering 3 cases of letterhead with the new logo on it when there's still 4 of the old stuff that has to be used first, and it takes a month to get thru one.
Manager #1: Really shouldn't be allowed to leave the house, let alone drive. Sexist, racist, loud, obnoxious, tries to step out on his wife, and claims to be a good Christian. At one time he was fond of telling women in the office about how his mean wife made him sleep on the sofa. This was followed up with a big leering grin & him highlighting the medication he was on. Namely, Viagra. Why do some men think this is something sexy to tell women? Is this the new pickup line for the Geritol Generation? Hey sweet thing, I'm on Viagra, so what's say you & me hit the the 4 o'clock buffet Wednesday?
Manager #2: Nice guy. Promoted from within. New to management & learning how to handle the people under him (Good luck!). Stays in his office mostly. Always helpful. Just wants to put in his 40 & go home. Can't say I blame him.
Coworker: Once upon a time was quite the troll. She's grown up a bit since entering into a relationship. Now she's just kinda dingy & naive. Means well. Talks a lot. All the time.
Parting words to ponder: If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result every time, what does that say about going to work?