Title? What Title?
Published on June 28, 2004 By DancingCamel In Personal Relationships
I went camping 2 weeks ago with friends - without SO - at a music festival. It was a lot of fun - I needed it. Even if I did cry a couple of times because I knew when it was all over I'd be coming back to a place where I'm not wanted anymore. I learned that there are other men out there who find me attractive & they didn't hesitate to let me know. It was good for my ego if nothing else.

SO still hasn't actually said anything to the effect of "I want you to leave/I want us to split/I want us to live separate/etc.". Our lease is up the end of August. Unless pushed, I don't know that he ever will say it. I realized last night with it being July now (for all intents and purposes), I don't think I should wait around, but instead plan for the worst & try to prepare to move out the end of August. Right now it looks tough, because I don't make much. The places I can currently afford to live are in not so great areas. But I've got two months to find something, so I'm hopeful. Even tho I know summer is when all the fall students start coming in for fall and most all of the complexes have waiting lists.

My coworker got a new job. Her last day is this Friday. I'm truly happy for her. For all our past differences we've become friends. We're both trying to get out of this place. She told me this morning that she & her BF talked about it & if I can't find anything and need somewhere to stay they have room & a garage to store my things. I thought I'd cry. There was a time I'd extended the same to her & her daughter.

I had a colonoscopy last Thursday. Doc said everything was normal. Which left the question of "So where's the blood coming from then?" Possibly an ulcer he says. Get to do stool samples before rushing down endoscopy road though. I was relieved. I was waiting for the 'thumbs up' before starting my own job search. An ulcer can be managed. I don't feel an ulcer would be as serious as potential colon problems. So now I'm tweaking my resume to try & sell myself back into a field I haven't worked in for 8 years. No easy task, but not impossible. I figure I can't make less than what I'm making now. Anything would be a step up.

Comments
on Jun 28, 2004
SO still hasn't actually said anything to the effect of "I want you to leave/I want us to split/I want us to live separate/etc.". Our lease is up the end of August. Unless pushed, I don't know that he ever will say it. I realized last night with it being July now (for all intents and purposes), I don't think I should wait around, but instead plan for the worst & try to prepare to move out the end of August. Right now it looks tough, because I don't make much. The places I can currently afford to live are in not so great areas. But I've got two months to find something, so I'm hopeful. Even tho I know summer is when all the fall students start coming in for fall and most all of the complexes have waiting lists.


If you know the relationship is over, which it sounds like you do, then why wait around for him to say something? Do what's going to be best for you....see if you can find a roommate to share a place with, even.

You said that you found out there are men out there who find you attractive....but as long as you're still living with someone else, most men aren't going to be interested in moving in on someone else's territory. So get out there, get your own place, and then once you're settled and sure of yourself, concentrate on finding someone who cares about you for you....and whom you can care about just the way he is. Good luck, and keep us posted!
on Jun 28, 2004
Listen girl I know it all seems a bit bleak at the moment it WILL get better. When my sister died and 3 weeks later I found out my husband (now ex) was running around I didn't know how I was going to survive. But you do and it calms down. If your defacto partner is not willing or able to talk to you about the future of your relationship if you can do so...do so. I always find what you imagine is often worse than the outcome, I try and imagine the worst scenario and work backwards from there. I sent you good wishes...

cinnamonstone
on Jun 28, 2004
Or don't concentrate on finding "someone" at all girl....just concentrate on yourself there is a hell of alot to be said for giving yourself some single time out...

cinnamonstone